I am back on the mainland and slowly reintegrating into daily life again. After some time for reflection, I have come to know that my two experiences in Hawaii were completely different. Before I can tell you more about my trip this summer, you need to know a little about my trip last summer.
What compels a person to fly off to Hawaii for three weeks to attend a 300 hour Advanced Yoga Teacher training? I can only speak for myself when I say… I don’t know. There wasn’t any specific event or thought that I can pinpoint as the moment that I decided I needed to go to Hawaii. It was pure chance that I even heard about the training. Cloud Nine Yoga School’s hub and concentration of school sites is located in Southern California. A friend from So Cal saw a post on Facebook that Cloud Nine was offering partial scholarships to a 300 hour yoga teacher training in Hawaii. This friend shared the post on my page. I almost dismissed it. I didn’t have the time or money to go to Hawaii, scholarship or not. But something made me look at it. All I had to do was answer a few questions and email the instructor. Why not? It’s not like I will actually get the scholarship right? I answered the questions and forgot about the whole thing. I didn’t even check into the program to determine cost, actual location, requirements, etc. I had not even graduated from my 200 hour basic yoga teacher training yet.
I was a third grade teacher at the time. I love teaching third grade, but there was so much more to the job of teaching that was directing my energy in negative ways. I had decided earlier in the school year that I was leaving the classroom. Much to the dismay of many loved ones in my life, I did not have a plan. “What will you do?” they would ask me in dismay. In all honesty I probably would have asked someone in my situation the same question. My answer, “I don’t know, but it will all work out.” It was the end of April, the end of the school year, and I didn’t have a job for next year.
I remember the day I got the phone call from Erika Faith. My students were in PE toward the end of the school day and my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number but I answered thinking it was one of my student’s parents. I was in the noisy hallway at school and this delightful person on the other end said "Hi! We want you to come to Hawaii for our 300 hour teacher training." I can remember the excitement in my heart at that moment. Is this for real? I might have even asked her that very question. A short conversation transpired and we hung up. I still had 28 students to pack up and send home that afternoon. I was experiencing a sensation I had never felt before and I didn’t have a name for it, but it was pure bliss.
Then reality hit. Did I deserve to go to Hawaii? I didn’t even have a job! The training was taking place in just over a month, could I even get everything in order in time? So many other questions and issues ran through my mind. Over the next two days there were many conversations with loved ones and a lot of questioning myself. In the end the decision was made that I was going to Hawaii. Now the feelings I was experiencing were excitement mixed with nervousness, and even some guilt.
When I began this process I had no idea how much things were about to change. The guilt and self-doubt I was feeling, simply because I was doing something for myself, had always been present in my internal dialogue. I was about to meet a group of people who would help me realize that it is okay to take care of oneself. I was also going to learn just how much magical and magnetic energy a place can hold.